Supporting a loved one with Anxiety
Supporting a loved one with anxiety can be difficult. You might feel helpless or have difficulty understanding. Anxiety, like most mental health issues, happens internally and is unlike illnesses like the flu where the symptoms are much more obvious. If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you want to comfort the person you love who is experiencing anxiety. If you want to help, it starts with learning the symptoms.
Supporting a loved one with anxiety can be difficult.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety affects 18% of the population. Anxiety generally entails persistent worrying and fear that impacts daily functioning. Some physical symptoms include restlessness, sweating, shortness of breath, or nausea. Your loved one most likely experiences anxious thoughts such as believing the worst case scenario, persistent worrying, black and white thinking, or overgeneralization (drawing sweeping conclusions without adequate evidence). They may also exhibit anxious behaviors such as second-guessing, needing reassurance, irritability, and/or avoidance of fear-inducing situations.
What not to do
You should not pressure your loved ones to face their fear before they’re ready. Have patience and let them set their own pace. In the same vein, try to avoid enabling them by eliminating all anxiety- inducing stimuli. It may seem counterintuitive because, if you want to help your loved ones reduce their anxiety, the natural solution would be to eliminate the anxiety-inducing stimuli. While this instinct clearly comes from a place of love, it might actually be more beneficial to let your loved one face their fear. Eliminating or avoiding the fear only serves to maintain the anxiety cycle (which we discussed in a previous blog) whereas the greatest catalyst for change is facing the fear head on.
Have patience and let them set their own pace.
It’s important to provide reassurance, and it’s normal to feel frustrated by this at times. Try your best not to get frustrated. Avoid blaming your loved one for their anxiety. Try to separate the person from the symptoms. It’s not uncommon for people with anxiety to feel shame for the way they feel. Try not to blame them and add to their shame.
Ways to support
The most important thing to remember when helping a loved one with anxiety is to cultivate patience. One of the hallmark symptoms of anxiety is cyclindal, irrational thoughts. To you the worry may seem obviously irrational, but try to remember for the anxious person, those thoughts feel all too real. Your loved one may need extra reassurance during this time as well.
If your loved one experiences panic attacks it’s important to stay calm and gently let them know they are having a panic attack. You should encourage them to take deep breaths and incorporate the senses (count out loud their breaths, raise their arms up and down with each breath). Help them get to a quiet place and utilize grounding techniques.
The best thing you can do is lovingly support them while they learn to navigate their anxiety.
The last thing to remember when helping a loved one through their anxiety is to set boundaries and take care of yourself. It can feel taxing to support someone with anxiety. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times. Release yourself from the pressure of trying to heal or fix them. The best thing you can do is lovingly support them while they learn to navigate their anxiety.
Do you know someone with anxiety? Reach out! We’d love to connect them to a therapist that’s right for them.
Cory Burton, PLPC
